Mama Rabbit, Papa Yuu
by Walker Uchiha Elric
Summary: They had a duty, being in charge for the little twins for a week, making efforts to not let them fall into the hands of Komui, and of course they use what is called maternal and paternal instincts! LaviYuu - LavixKanda


I don't have the exact idea of how I got this… plot. Yeah, well I'll try to be funny :/ Yet my person lacks humor, don't say I did not warn you but I'll try my best anyway… Also I thought about making some LaviYuu goodness for you fans out there and here I bring ya… this. Chapters will somehow be short and maybe updated quicker than any other of my multi-chapter fics. I will put a hiatus and the other's while I'm at this one.

Seriously, I don't own D. Gray-Man but I wish I did. What a shame.

Oh, another thing I doubt is about rating this K+ or T… Maybe I'll stay T just to be sure and maybe because of future chapters some… action could be unexpected. Otherwise, enjoy this first chapter eventually co-written with my friend, **French_Diamond, **also known as Lucas-kun from my other story.

_ . . . _

As soon as the birds chirped happily and heard from the opened window, as the invisible, fresh air caressed the long, thin pair of with curtains, the sunshine illuminated every single room of the Black Order. It was a sign about a good day being expected for today, and that includes the rarely woken-early-rabbit that hopped down the hallway with his bouncing rodent ears. His feet scraped the floor roughly to stop in front of a door.

He curiously thought for a moment before browsing in his pocket, searching for the item in mind. The redhead's face clicked as he took the object. He held a small notebook and pushed the pen's button and started scribbling quietly on his notebook.

Again, he thought, taking his attention to the ceiling and put his index fingers over his lips until he muttered things and giggled to himself.

"Let's see…" He whispered, eyeing the small book, checking and crossing things off. "Hiding Timcanpy before Allen wakes up? Check. Stressing Panda-Jiji and annoy him to be avoided? Check." The red-haired sought more from his _'What to do' _list and his eyes met an interesting note.

"I can't believe he hasn't noticed yet!" Lavi laughed and read out loud. "Switching Komui's coffee for toilet water?" He lifted his pen and shrieked as he heard a sudden shout from afar. The voice was very recognizable, and he thought about right now, being the best time to start running.

Lavi cracked once more and scribbled quickly. "_Check._" He stated and opened the door after him. It slowly creaked at the motion, letting a small line of light reflected from outside enter the room, which was surprisingly dark and cold. A sleeping figure could be seen across the room, lying on the Japanese style bed with a small night side table.

There was a glowing flower over the stand. A lotus flower inside an hour-glass. Lavi, well being Lavi, tip-toed to the entrance, gently pressed his feet on the carpeted floor over to the sleeping person.

Once he accomplished walking to the subject, he leaned closer to see it sleep calmly. Lavi just stared slowly heading his finger to his cheek, poking it over and over.

"Dammit…" The person did not respond and continued to rest quietly until Lavi got pissed because it was no fun. He put his middle and index finger together, opening and closing them repeatedly as if he were having a pair of scissors between his fingers. Lavi quickly inserted his fingers inside his nostrils, twisting his fingers to see his reaction.

Although, this act prevented oxygen from reaching to his lungs until he began to snore and his nose blew wide, storing the air he was to exhale.

"Eww!" The rabbit felt his fingers sticky and gross and pulled out cleaning them with the thin blanket covering the samurai and walked off to wander around the room. He found the lotus interesting now.

Once he reached to the rare and illuminist item, he eyed it suspiciously and revised every single angle of it. Lavi moved his hand closer to take it until a hand took grip of his wrist tightly. The redhead turned quickly and very scared to see a red glowing eye on the face of a very annoyed samurai with Mugen on his hands.

"Yuu!" Lavi jumped making his supposedly watch-out-I'm-karate-master pose awkwardly. Inchmeal getting the blade from its case before sliding it to attack the panicked rabbit. "DIE, BAKA USAGI!" Kanda swung his blade across the room attempting to hit Lavi, which he missed.

"S-So in a bad mood aren't you?" Lavi trembled moving his hips to the left, right, back and jumping in able to avoid the rapidly stabbing sword that crossed his body. Kanda did not answer and kept attacking randomly.

Lavi stood in the closet in fear, "Please stop, Yuu-chan!" He jumped over to the bed as Mugen reached the wardrobe, which was cut in half.

"NOT UNTIL I GET MY VICTIM." Kanda said coldly jumping to his bed with Mugen over him. Lavi, helplessly crawled to the door. "Have mercy, Yuu~!" He sang with tears coming for his eyes.

"NEVER!" Kanda spat with one last swung across the door being also cut in half which exposed the murderous act to two certain people standing on the entrance. Kanda, stared for a moment while Lavi sighed in relief having Mugen a few centimeters away from his nose.

Allen held his hand formed in a light fist as if he were to knock, blinking a few times before processing the situation occurring at this moment.

"Uhh… M-Maybe we should return in another occasion." Allen muttered in embarrassment when a very happy Lavi jumped in front of him. "No, it's alright since you two saved my life!" Lavi said as he danced happily behind them to keep himself away from Kanda.

"Oh. Kanda, we just came here to ask you a favor but since Lavi's here maybe he could help, too." Lenalee spoke clapping her hands together and smiling to the guys. Kanda turned away and headed back inside his room. "Like if I cared." He whispered a little loud enough for the rest to hear.

"Aww! Come on, Yuu-chan! It could be nice to help." Lavi whined and turned back to Allen and Lenalee. "So, what's that you need help with?" The redhead asked curiously.

Allen blushed a little and tried to hide his face by turning away. But Lenalee talked instead, "Well, you see we have a small problem…" She sweatdropped and turned to see Kanda who was facing the other way but she was sure that he was listening.

"Why?" Lavi asked, and then gasped. "Don't tell me that Yuu is a girl!" Seriously, did Lavi wanted to die by saying this? And as expected the dynamic Mugen swung over to his direction once again with the mad samurai. "I am not a girl and DO NOT CALL ME YUU!" He demanded leaning his sword closer to his throat.

"Geez calm down, Yuu…" Lavi whispered and Kanda withdrew Mugen back to its case.

The white-haired rolled his eyes and cleared his throat. "Stop it both of you and let's end up with this already." Lenalee nodded and continued on.

"About this task is that it's easy and I know that we could ask anyone but…" She shook her head and Allen continued. "Well it's something were hiding from Komui and so we cannot ask him." He finished and let Lavi and Kanda figure out the rest.

Lenalee walked to the room besides Kanda's and carried back two babies on her arms who were sleeping quietly. Lavi leaned closer to the pair of twins to get a better look pulling the uninterested Kanda with him. "Just look at them!" Lavi said facing one and the other and then at Kanda.

"Che." Kanda whispered and glared to Allen's direction. "What's all this about?" He questioned bluntly to the white-haired and his glared turned much more murderous.

"You know, while there is love—"

"Shut up." Allen beamed interrupting Lavi's meaningless answers and the rabbit did as told. Lenalee sweatdropped and patted the depressed Lavi huddled in a corner but she started again, "Oh. And I forgot to mention that Allen and I are to leave for a mission. It won't take very long, maybe a week at least." She finished and Allen nodded.

"Hmm…" Kanda thought angrily and made a face in disgust once something appeared in his mind. "It can't be!" He said in wide shock falling on his knees which actually made Allen want to crack laughing by seeing Kanda's reaction, it was priceless.

"W-Wha…?" Lavi's jaw reached the floor thinking of all the consequences of them doing such thing. The samurai and the rabbit shocked while Allen and Lenalee just laughed at them. "We'll be leaving, then!" Lenalee handed one baby to each and waved with one hand while she pulled Allen with her with her other hand.

It took them an hour to regain their conscious back. "It can't be…" Kanda muttered.

"Were… babysitting." Lavi finished for him putting his hand on his chin making a shameful look. A sudden cry interrupted the dead silence and the baby began to move which nudged Kanda's arms.

"Oi! Stupid baby, calm down!" Kanda growled, fixing the baby's position but ended up carrying the baby upside down. Lavi chuckled while Kanda sweatdropped. "Well, at least he's straight now." Lavi muttered and Kanda glared at the baby.

"If you make one more move, I swear I'll…!" Kanda's threat was broken by the squirt of yellow liquid coming from the uhh… dirty diaper.

The green-haired boy cried much louder, fisting his hands and punched Kanda's peed face. Lavi couldn't help his laughter to stop, this scene was ridiculously ridiculous! Kanda was now pissed opening his eyes and glaring at the crying baby.

"Now you've done it!" Kanda pulled the baby but Lavi took him away from Kanda's hand before the baby confronted death. "Don't, Yuu-chan! Take your role as a father seriously!" Lavi protested against Kanda, comforting the crying baby.

"What are you? Mama Rabbit?" Kanda joked emotionless and chuckled quietly to himself. "We should get some help, Yuu! We can't do this alone!" Lavi said as he walked to the left.

"Oi!" Kanda stopped him, "But remember that we must avoid Komui." He stated and Lavi thought. "What about asking Miranda? She's a woman after all!" The redhead snapped and headed to her room.

They reached her in a while, she was going to have breakfast so they found her on mid-path. Miranda was surprise after what they told her.

"Oh my Lavi… I can't believe you too actually…" She blushed filling her mind with… thoughts. Lavi slapped his forehead, "It's not like that, Miranda! These aren't our kids, okay?" He tried to make it clearer to her.

Miranda faced Kanda who apparently was having problems with the baby. "Stop that! Or I'll leave you bald!" The baby was actually trying to pull Mugen out but Kanda tried not to let him. She giggled and payed her attention to Lavi again.

"I would like to help you… But since I've never had any kids and also because this could be my 101st time being fired." By the thought of this the girl's eyes went watery until a bunch of tears started to spread from her eyes.

"I'M SORRY. I'M JUST SO USELESS!" Miranda cried and both Lavi and Kanda sweatdropped and continued on to ask a different person.

"So Kuro-chan, were stuck in this and we have no experience at all." Lavi's eyes were widened in horror, while the white-haired little girl started to pull on his hair with his bandana wrapped on her neck.

Krory put his hand on his chin while muttering things. "Babysitting, huh?" He snapped his fingers when an idea crossed his mind. Lavi and Kanda quickly leaned closer to hear his tip.

"Back at the castle I used to kind of babysit the man eating plants. Maybe it could apply to babies." He wondered and the couple shrugged and listened to him again. "It would be better if they were kids instead of plants but since Eliade and I didn't get to that point…" Krory sobbed, covering his eyes with his forearm.

Kanda and Lavi sweatdropped at the sad story of Krory. "Eliade…" He whispered to himself, Lavi leaned closer to Kanda and whispered to his ear, "Next."

"Please, please! Tell us you know!" Lavi begged totally stressed with his ruined hair and Kanda much angrier than ever, being able of killing the baby. Russell felt rather sad for them but anyways…

"I do have a kid…" He started and Lavi smiled widely almost glomping him. "But…" Oh no. Not the but. "I hardly ever see him so I don't really know." Lavi had just died. From the inside he felt totally destroyed turning black with no light.

"You could always hire a babysitter, though." Russell commented but Lavi glared. "Oh yes. Maybe that's what I'm trying to do." Lavi said sarcastically. "I guess we don't have a choice…" Lavi said and sighed.

"Hey, Baka Usagi." Kanda called pointing at the boy. "They slept."

After a few minutes they rushed to either Kanda's or Lavi's room, taking the babies to a place where they could slumber quietly with no interruptions. Lavi positioned them on Kanda's bed and looked at them.

"Look at them, Papa Yuu!" Lavi said pointing at the cute twins sleeping together. Kanda just che'd. "At least they've calmed down." He said and turned to leave the room but Lavi stopped him.

"Were such good parents, aren't we, Yuu?" Lavi asked and Kanda just skipped the question. "As long as they maintain themselves quiet, then fine by me." Kanda said and faced the babies. "They're Moyashi's kids and since he's such a fucking crybaby it doesn't surprise me that they are too." Kanda finished and then they both heard a sob.

"Oh no, not again!" Lavi moaned in disappointment, digging his hands on his hair.

_ . . . _

FAIL. Yes. Apparently, I wrote this on midnight, the exact time where my brain is not working fine and I'm thinking random stuff… And the first chapter didn't come so well because of my tiredness, sorry. Anyways, I would really like to hear your opinion about really making this into a multi-chaptered story or just a one-shot and left this way. Yeah, because I think that one-shots leave you day-dreaming a sequel so… Just leave your opinion. Hope you all enjoyed! Thanks!


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